June 21, 2010

Life and what to do with it

Posted in Life Stuff at 7:00 pm by mbru15

I have no idea what I want to do with my life- in terms of a career.

Couple things.. I’d like to be an appraiser to make lots of money and i’m interested in Real Estate. I’d like to be a Real Estate agent because i’m interested in real estate. I’d like to be a school teacher because I’d get summers off. I’d like to be an interior designer because I find that interesting. I’d like to be involved in building homes because I find that interesting. I’d like to design floor plans because I find that interesting. I’d like to be a cupcake baker because I find that interesting. I’d like to be a chef because that sounds like fun, other than working at night.. so a private chef would be fun.

Problem is.. for most of this stuff, if not all of it. I need more schooling. I already have a Bachelors in Business-Marketing and I don’t know if I want to jump into debt for some schooling. All I know is, I’m unhappy in my current job. So unhappy that it gives meΒ  a headache and every day I think about how I can lie so that I can leave and use some of my vacation time. I rarely do actually leave but I can tell you, I don’t do much during the day which is pretty unfair for everyone, including my poor brain that needs to think of alternate things to do to keep occupied.

Shouldn’t I be grateful that I have a job? Sure! But seriously, this job sucks. When they’re telling you for over 6 months that you’re going to get a promotion and it hasn’t come yet, it’s a little disheartening and annoying because even if you did get the promotion you’d still hate this place. So I guess I’m kind of punishing them for not giving me a raise by reducing my productivity to the level where I’m currently being paid.

The easiest approach to go is the Appraisal route. The cheapest probably as well. I need to take 3 classes (2 30-hr and 1 15-hr) and then I need to find a mentor (or 2) that will let me work for them and they’ll pay me a decent amount in return. I’ll probably need 2, definitely. One for residential and one for commercial. I have to take classes at the same time. No longer than 30 hrs so that’s bearable. And I can’t complete this whole program before 30 months. So it’s guaranteed to take a while but when I’m finished and get licensed, I can do whatever I want. (sort of). I’ll still have to work but hopefully I can make enough money and do it flexibly. Appraisal will hopefully get me out of my current job the fastest as well. Since I only need 75 hours, then basically I can get out of there. Income may be an issue. I’m not sure how much people pay trainee’s but it really can’t get much worse than what I’m making now and I’ll work part time if needed.

I really just need to get off my butt and do something. I’m motivated to lose weight but why not to get these classes underway so that I can change careers? What’s my deal??!

I’m going to set a start date of July 5th as these next couple weeks are going to be busy. And even though I’d rather be outside or doing something else, I really just need to buckle down and complete the courses needed to move on.

Day 14

Posted in South Beach at 1:10 pm by mbru15

Tomorrow would be the official two weeks but I’m calling it one week because of the whole first week no weight loss screw up!

I plan to keep this up forever, basically.. and the modification will be a tad more lenient on the weekends. But i’m truly enjoying not drinking alcohol so heavily (not that I drank that much but I get carried away with it easily) and I’ve been doing good on weekends, I think, so if I can get down to my goal weight and keep it maintained once I get there, it should be good! Forever!

Today I had my normal egg white for breakfast and milk.

I brought some cheese as a snack in the morning and beef jerky for the afternoon. For lunch i’ll be having left over green beans and chicken.

Hopefully tonight we can go play some tennis. I think it’s supposed to rain later this week, so I’d like to get it in today. Hopefully fish for dinner with some garden veggies and salsa over the fish. I read a couple food blogs and they make amazing stuff.. can’t wait to be able to eat some small amount of carbs again to enjoy those sorts of things. Like fruit. I do miss that and it’s one thing I will definitely be adding back in (moderately) when I reach my goal weight.

I kind of feel like i’ve been treading water the past couple weeks and not really swimming forward towards weight loss. But I feel it and that makes it a little more motivating. It’s weird that I can see some differences but the scale doesn’t reflect that. Why do I rely so much on the numbers? I can’t tell you.. but it’s important to me, so that’s what i’m working with.

Day 12 & 13

Posted in South Beach at 12:58 pm by mbru15

Well, this past weekend I was sick. So add the normal weekend toughness + sickness + activities even though I was sick = hard to follow the South Beach, I thought I was doing good though.

Friday night we hit the town in Newark, DE with our sibs and friend Matt. We ate dinner at a restaurant called Home Grown. I had mushroom soup and a salad and one nacho chip from the appetizer plate. No booze. We stayed up until 4 am and woke up at 9 am on Saturday. No Sleep + Sickness = bad combo.

Saturday morning I had eggs and milk. Beef Jerky as a snack and then basically nothing until dinner. We got home around 1 and just puttered around for a while, then cleaned and got ready for a cookout with some friends. We had grilled chicken, asparagus and baby new potatoes. I read in the SB book that the smaller they are, the less carbs they had. So I had some. I fill up fast these days while eating. So they drank and I had diet soda. We went to Bulls Head then Loxley’s and decided to get appetizers. I ordered the mini tacos thinking I could remove the shell and just mix up the contents into a salad. But apparently, they don’t have the correct descriptions because what came out was round tortilla chips, folded in half with a pasty meat/bean/jalapeno substance inside with a side of sour cream and salsa. So I ate them with all the sour cream because the SB book says add fat to anything to slow down digestion. I should’ve known that getting an appetizer was a bad idea. But again, no booze.

Sunday was Father’s Day of course, so Alex did a bit of grocery shopping after we woke up at 11 am. Of course he got pineapple to grill and stuff to make guacamole. Therefore I had the smallest piece of pineapple and some chips with the guacamole. We had NY Strip steak and green beans/zucchini otherwise. And later at my parents house I had caesar salad and marinated flank steak. Delicious!

So that doesn’t sound so bad, right? I mean, mix in the fact that exercise was nil and most of my free time spent playing wii or on the couch relaxing because of the sickness…. i’m back at 144. I’m thinking that me being strict this week and exercising like a feen will drop me back to 141 pretty quickly and then I can proceed from there. Next weekend (though hard, again) I will be doing no carbs (esp. because I didn’t exactly succeed this past weekend).

I will do it though, I’m still determined to lose these lovies. My thighs are getting smaller already even if the scale doesn’t agree. But this is a nice change. I need to walk around more though to really get those leggies into shape. Pilates/Yoga for lovies and walking for thighs, great combo!

Here’s to success this coming week!

June 18, 2010

Day 11

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:43 pm by mbru15

Well yesterday, I did end up leaving work because I wasn’t feeling well. This resulted in me having a snack when I got home (a pickle) then later making meatballs, watching Penelope, playing some Wii and then taking a nap from 2:00 to 4:45.. then I had another pickle and for dinner I had some broccoli/cauliflower cheesy mixture that I actually don’t enjoy much, so I don’t think I’ll be buying those again.

Today, I don’t feel 100% but I didn’t want to waste a vacation day being home sick. I had my usual egg white and milk for breakfast and I’m going to eat the lunch/snacks I left here yesterday, pickle.. asparagus.. roasted soy beans. I’m not hungry but whatever, I will make myself eat!

Today of course, is one of Alex’s days off. He gets off every other friday because he works 9 hour days. I wish I could do that!

Tonight we’re going to DE to visit Alex’s brother and his fiance, one of my best friends, Laurel. Her birthday was Monday so we’re going to celebrate! I don’t know what we’re doing for dinner but it should be fun. Carb-less fun.. for me anyway. I actually like going to bed sober, waking up feeling normal with no hang overs in sight. I feel like I might adopt this permanently. The South Beach book says that in phase two, you can have up to 2 glasses of wine (preferably red) so I may partake in that every once in a while, but no more beer for me! Unless it’s a special occasion. But I don’t think i’ll miss it.

That reminds me, I got Laurel a killer birthday gift. It’s a cute picnic basket from Target with matching picnic tupperware and cute napkins, stemless wine glasses and a matching blanket that rolls up for easy carrying. I’m going to stick a bottle of wine in there! I hope she likes it!!

The scale still said 141 today, but hopefully I can get some exercising in before we leave for DE and drop some more poundage over the weekend. Another thing about the weekend is I barely post anything. I’m not generally near a computer over the weekend to update on my food intake/exercise activities, so sorry! πŸ™‚

Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels!

later in the day…

Well, I went home for lunch.. I had celery and peanut butter and crystal light. The asparagus just didn’t sound very delicious. It was regular steamed instead of pan roasted, so it wasn’t as good the night we had it and i’m sure it’s not as good right now though it’s still in it’s tupperware. Alex will eat it as a snack when I get home.

I did however talk to my mom for 40 minutes earlier in the morning and she de-stressed my stressful situation with lots of nifty ideas and very good points. SO I feel less stressed and Alex and I will talk about it when I get home. To ease the minds, it’s about buying a piece of property, a large one, that i truly believe we currently can’t afford and that I don’t even think is a good idea to purchase! And so.. my nose is stuffed yet running and my head feels cloudy. I should’ve taken some meds earlier, but I will when I return home. Gosh, i’m just so excited to give Laurel the picnic basket/blanket gift!!!

I love and hate fridays.. love it because the weekend is at 5 pm, hate it because i have to sit at work for 8 hours pretending to do something. I mean, it’s easy to pretend and I actually do get stuff done but it seems like such a giant waste of time.

Regardless, Happy Friday, Happy Weekend!

June 17, 2010

Day 10

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:38 pm by mbru15

141 the scale read this morning. I wonder if eating breakfast really helps that much. It must!

I feel terrible today though, weird, ticklish throat, swollen lymph nodes and a headache. Alex was sick the other day but he was congested, I must have a different version of his illness. I think I may only last a couple hours in here at work today.

I am happy about the 141 thing though. I had an egg white for breakfast again and milk. I brought asparagus for lunch and a pickle for a morning snack and soy beans for an afternoon one, if i even last that long. I could’ve slept forever this morning!

I also did pilates last night, so go me! Hope to kick this sickness fast though, big plans for the weekend. I’ll have to avoid carbs but hey, i’ve done it before and I can do it again!

I made a calendar to track my weight loss by pounds and to show what challenges are coming up (aka social events that will be hard not to indulge during). As long as Alex is around, I won’t indulge because I want to do good for him. I want to have the hottest bikini body he’s ever seen me have!

June 16, 2010

Day 9

Posted in Uncategorized at 1:42 pm by mbru15

I should just call this Day 1

SHEESH! The scale went up this morning. AGAIN.. that’s right. I haven’t been eating any carbs and i’m actually gaining weight. No more diet products and i’m still gaining weight. WTF!

I’ve decided that maybe not eating breakfast is the kicker. So i’m going to make sure I have breakfast every day. Even if it kills me. I’ve been so tired in the morning recently though due to allergies that it’s hard to wake up earlier than my normal wake up time. I’m going to try to work on that.

Last night I had salad for dinner. That’s it, salad. Everyone else had pizza. It was sad and it looked good. Then we went out to the orchard and picked sour cherries. Could I taste one? No. But that was my work out. By the time we got home, I showered and we went to bed. I was reading some of the South Beach books though and I’m figuring I should make some of the recipes ahead of time and freeze them so that I can take less thought out of what to eat.

Today I had an egg white for breakfast and 3 oz of milk. I’m going to have a cheese stick for a snack and i’m going home for lunch to have veggies.. maybe some meatballs. it’ll be good to get away from my desk, even if it is wasting gas. I will update with more later.

Later in the day..

So for lunch I went home and sauteed peppers and onions and put them on a bed of lettuce with salsa and some sour cream. I didn’t eat the whole thing because I was filling up fast. I still feel like a beluga whale. But whatever. It’ll probably rain tonight and Alex and I wanted to play tennis so i’ll have to do some pilates instead.. and vacuuming with our new vacuum.

I’m still stressed a bit due to the lack of weight loss and the whole other sitch that i didn’t explain but I expressed my feelings to Alex last night and he was understandably frustrated. I won’t be explaining further. I’m sure it’ll work out, it’s just hard to plan 5 years in advance.

I don’t know what we’ll have for dinner. My cravings have disappeared because of not eating carbs (even though I haven’t dropped a pound, oh, i said that already.. my bad). So whatever Alex feels like having will be just fine.

June 15, 2010

Totally unrelated

Posted in Life Stuff at 8:46 pm by mbru15

So all day i’ve been thinking about this pizza thing. The going over to the in laws for pizza. Well no pizza for me actually, just salad. I’m trying to figure out what I can take over to eat since I don’t want salad and I don’t like any of the dressings they usually use. Hm.. what to take?

It kind of makes me annoyed. Though I definitely don’t want people to only please me, or only do what I want to do.. I don’t want to go. I just don’t really like being around them that much. We just saw them on friday, why so soon again? I’m in a weird mood right now. It’s probably the fact that I really want pizza but can’t have any. Also, there’s some behind the scenes stuff going on that’s stressing me out that I could probably share but don’t know if that’s really necessary. I’ll just keep struggling with it internally. At least until I get home and can talk to Alex about it. Gaaaah- I hate my job and I wish my life were a little different! I wish we could pick up and move wherever we wanted (we can’t) and I wish we could at least move halfway between my parents and his (we never will) and it’s all just really stressing me out right now. Not to mention, I never really get stressed. So this is new. And terrible!

Motivation

Posted in Uncategorized at 3:25 pm by mbru15

I tend to feel more motivated while i’m at work. Maybe this is because I know I can’t get out of here to do anything I actually want to do. When I get home, all I want to do is relax from my day. I think this stems from disliking my job. If I liked it I wouldn’t try to think of excuses to leave all the time, would I? I have some things I want to start to get out of here but at the same time, I’m not starting them. I like to plan but not execute I guess. It’s kinda sickening.

Day 8

Posted in South Beach at 12:48 pm by mbru15

1st day of the 2nd week. i’d say we should celebrate but i failed on sunday so yesterday was like starting over anyway. and i didn’t move an ounce on the scale this morning so phoey.

We had cheesy shrimp/asparagus last night for dinner and i had a pickle as a snack. Whoop-di-do. Our neighbors stopped by with a huge goodie basket too because we recently moved in. So nice of them! And it was stocked with crystal light (score!) stuff to make smores, peanuts/trail mix and chocolates. It was adorable and so thoughtful. And we watched the movie, Doubt. Which was kind of weird and the ending wasn’t really explaining anything. I guess it as a draw your own conclusion type thing. I’ll need a jump to conclusions mat to figure it out (office space).

Today, milk for breakfast. cheese for snack. pepperoni/salami for lunch with a pickle and then peanuts for afternoon snack. Boring boring. After work, Alex is going to Roots for produce and then we’re going to his parents house for pizza.. yeah!! except i won’t be eating pizza.. booo!! i guess i’ll be having salad…….. boring! Since I know no one reads this, I don’t really enjoy going over there on weeknights. Alex always wants to stay longer than i do and just when i think we’re about to leave, they bust out the coffee which usually has to be roasted first so we’re there another hour. I don’t know what my problem is but i have a slight one. I especially don’t want to go watch other people eat pizza. And also we’re going to pick cherries from the orchard.. even though I can’t eat those either! What a great trip for me!

Anyway.. yesterday i didn’t exercise but hopefully I can today!

June 14, 2010

I’m giving up

Posted in Uncategorized at 7:33 pm by mbru15

artificially sweetened foods.. not the diet. πŸ™‚ tricked ya!

i had a diet pepsi with my lunch and my lunch portion was not that big and i feel giant. then i went online and googled it and apparently, sugar free stuff is not good if you’re trying to lose weight. so bye bye sugar free.

that drastically reduces what i can have to drink, but i’ll just have to stick with water or milk. no problem. i feel terrible right now, so i’m not sure if its from the soda, mental stuff? or the germs alex gave me this weekend. i’ll chug some water and find out.

get fit!

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